Jars of Clay = totally awesome!

Just got home from their show at Messiah…and with 2 rubber like legs, a sprained ankle that is throbbing, and a sore throat, I must say, they kicked butt!

Well, off to the shower then to bed!!

God bless!!

K-tizzleX3

So Overflow..AWESOME!

We were great.

Saturday is Jars of Clay concert! YAY!!

Sunday…hanging with Kenzie

Friday..I know before both of those days, but *sticks out tongue* Going to Lindsay’s and then to her church for a musical..excited, I <3 her and her family they are great.

Well, I am out for now.

((I think I have someone who likes me..*girly giggle*))

Wow. So I feel totally weird, aside from my tummy gurgling and my head ache and my back and arms that hurt uber bad, I feel weird. I don’t know if I am depressed, or getting sick. I sorta feel incomplete, like I am missing someone or something. I just don’t know. I am tired,but havn’t really slept that great lately. I am ticked off, because I have been on my diet and work out thing for like 2 weeks and I have only lost 5 pounds. I am eating everything low fat, low sugar, low calories, and high protien. I try to do as many sit ups and push ups as I can do,((my highest was 100 consecutive sit ups)) it is just frustraiting for me. I have very few snacks that are bad for me, like chips, but even then, they are baked chips, but w/e. I will just work harder and longer and see what happens. I guess I have to be mentally ready to do a diet. I have good will power, but maybe it’s because of me feeling weird. I honestly don’t know.

On a brighter note, Overflow is Sunday!!!

We have worked hard and at pracitce Sunday night, we sounded really good. I am uber nervous to play my flute by myself, well with Meg, but no other flutes..*spaz*

Gah, almost 2 in the morning. Tired. Should at least go try to lay down again, but my tummy is still gurgling. Gah.

Peace<3

K-tizzleX3

After the boys of summer have gone.

The ATARIS=awesome!

Take a look at these 2 songs..they like totally describe me and me friends…

“Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start”

today was a good day.
I didn’t even have to use my a.k.
at least I didn’t get my heart broken anyway
wasting time in east new jersey.
guess I could tell you ’bout
the snow covered rooftops,
sunsets, shooting stars and picturesque backdrops.
or how I went and hung out at quick-stop
and pretended that I was in clerks.

sometimes you gotta stop and remember
that your not gonna live forever.
be young, think smart, stay true
and just follow your heart.

remember the times we watched “karate kid”
and memorized every line
skipped school and went to the arcade
hung out and played galaga all day.
stole a car and we drove to michigan.
600 miles with no destination.
except to get in the car and drive
and see where we’ll end up.

sometimes you gotta stop and remember.
that your not gonna be young forever.
think smart, have fun, stay true
and don’t ever grow up.

out of all I’ve learned in life
you always keep your friends close to your heart.
’cause who will help you if you’re falling down.

and everything is o.k.

I totally <3 that song and this one too

“In This Diary”

Here in this diary,
I write you visions of my summer.
It was the best I ever had.
There were choruses and sing-alongs,
And that unspoken feeling of knowing
Right now is all that matters
All the nights we stayed up talking
and listening to 80’s songs;
quoting lines from all those movies that we love.
It still brings a smile to my face.
I guess when it comes down to it…

Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart
and eventually you’ll finally get it right.

Breaking into hotel swimming pools,
and wreaking havoc on our world.
Hanging out at truck stops just to pass the time.
The black top’s singing me to sleep.
Lighting fireworks in parking lots,
illuminate the blackest nights.
Cherry cokes under this moonlight summer sky.
2015 Riverside, it’s time to say, “goodbye.”
Get on the bus, it’s time to go.

Being grown up isn’t half as fun as growing up:
These are the best days of our lives.
The only thing that matters
is just following your heart,
and eventually you’ll finally get it right.

So I was just going to bold the parts that are most like me, then I realized, that all of both songs is totally Katie worthy of being bolded.

As I sit here eating this icky yucky tuna sandwich((why are you eating it if it icky yucky)) [cuz it is good for me..duh!] I am thinking about how today’s service in church like totally described what I just basically went through, well not so much really that as it, well I’m not sure. I just pulled myself away from the wrong people. The people that screwed up my life for half a year, six months of my life are wasted, but I don’ t like to think of them as totally wasted. It was an eye opener for me. I realized that((with the help of Pastor Mathna’s sermon))you do need to find the ‘wrong’ people so that you know who is wrong for future reference,and I have done that. I also realized that you don’t have to do everything that they make you do. They can’t make you do anything you don’t want to. When I was hanging out with those who can remain nameless for I have already stated their names many a time on here and while talking to you all that you know who I am talking about, I did things that I shouldn’t have done, and didn’t do things that I should have been doing, and I paid the dues. I lost friends who I cared deeply about, I lost the trust of my family, but mostly, I disapointed so many people who knew and still know that I am better than that, that I am not a loser and that I can make better decisions than those that I made.

I am very proud of myself to say to those people that they are bad for me and that I am done with them. I am proud that I stood up for myself for the first time and didn’t go back on my words, but with every win there is a loss. Still, a lot of my old friends still want nothing to do with me. They think that I will turn around and do it again, this is hard. It makes me feel like I didn’t do anything, that I could just go back to the people and do the things that I did before and totally ditch everything that I have started since then, but I am not. I am not giving up on the people that do believe in me, and most of all, I am not going to disapoint them once again. I am going forward, there is no longer a rewind button on me anymore. I am in fast forward, slowing down and preparing for the important things, not letting myself slip up again. I am going to succeed.

Once again, I have lyrics for you to read.

Candy-Seventh Day Slumber

So many nights wasted,
poisoning myself
Guess I just hated,
the emptiness I felt
To be excepted
you gotta look like they do
But you held your hand down
and took me just as I am

Your love’s like candy
oh like something
I’ve never tasted before
And you take me places
I never dreamed I could go

Oh I’ve been laughed at
and broken in two
And I’ve felt the wrath that
words of hate can do
Oh I’ve been stranded
and left standing in the rain
But you picked my head up
and carried me
away from this place

Your love’s like candy
like something
I’ve never tasted before
And you take me places
I never dreamed I could go
and where would I be
without you
where would I go
without you

That so totally deserved to be all bolded.

The first time I heard that, I cried, because it was me in nutshell.

Thank you, Wendy and Lindsay,Tammy, Greg,Nan & Pappy,Dad,Mom, James and everyone else who I may have talked to for advice or anything, for always believing in me and not giving up on me.

You are always there for me, and now I will always be here for you.

So this is where I leave you all,

Loves and God bless,

K-tizzleX3

So yea, I havn’t updated in a while.

Nothing really to update.

I don’t know how long I am going to stay at Triple Creek, I am just sorta confused about everything right now, and very busy, yet it doesn’t feel like I do anything at all.

Bleh, I don’t know.

Peace<3

That’s Janis Joplin for those of you who don’t know.

Not some emo band lyrics, it is good old hippy Janis Joplin.

So today, I didn’t have power for like 4 hours. Then it came on, I made my self 2 hot dogs for lunch, then watched tv. Tammy got here, we ate dinner, went to Target.

At Target, origonally planing to get a horsie computer game, saw a Memorex cd player for 1/2 off. I was like “heck yes”

I saved $20 on this cd player! Go Katie it’s your birthday!

Fell in love with a cheap Gibson sort of type guitar that is beautiful! So going in the running with a laptop and new i-pod for Christmas. I will so take that over an i-pod and I think that Dad would take it over a laptop. So maybe I will get that and some cds or whatever for Christmas, and for my birthday, a new i-pod.

So yea, we got home just in time for me to be 5 minutes late to watch the new Degrassi, but I watched the rest of it, then part of South of Nowhere. Then 2 Degrassi reruns and then the new one, then South of Nowhere again. lol. I am such a teenage drama addict.

Now, sitting here, drinking Dr. Pepper listening to Evanescence on a mix in my new cd player.

Going to chat with my peeps, do myspace surveys, maybe new layout. I dunno. Katie is flexible!

So now, Katie is going to continue to drink Dr. Pepper and listen to the rest of her mix on her new cd player, but stop typing here…

Katie says:

Loves and God bless,

K-tizzleX3

So wow, I was going to start this entry like an hour and half ago,then Daniel IM’s me and is like “Call me, I need to ask you something and I can’t type it.”

So I call him, and he asks me a question about his g/f and then we wind up on the phone for like almost 2 hours just talking about random stuff. Catching up you can say because we havn’t talked in like 2 months or whatever. It was fun.

While he was getting all deep and talking about love and stuff, I go, “Woah, you write on yourself with charcol.”

He is like “Shhh!! I was talking.” lol

So now I have a wicked sick design on my leg from charcol, and it will probably come off in the shower tomorrow, but whatev.

Gah, I am so stressed thinking about how soon my social life will be zip, zilch, nada. Gah, it is going to bite!

But whatever, I can’t really stay on here too long, I barely did any school work today, it is almost 12:30 A.M. and I need to finish an essay and 2 tests in English, so that I can get that done and get into my new classes.

So this is where I leave you.

Loves and God bless,

K-tizzleX3

So, today…

Woke up like 10ish, laid in bed like all blehness didn’t want to get up. Then Leah’s mom called and said she was comming to get Leah at 11:30, so we had to get up. Then I sat in my room and drew and listened to music. Then took a shower, drew some more, got ready to go to my meeting with my riding instructor.

It was an interesting meeting:

We talked about my what happened when I fell, and worked out arrangements to work at the farm to earn “barn dollars” to put towards riding lessons, his wife’s online tack shop, or in the future, board for a horse. He said when he thinks I am ready for the responsibility and have the skill, he would take me and my mom  or dad or both whoever to the race track or to an auction and go 50/50 for a horse that is cheap,train it, then sell it for a profit and use that to get a better horse. Which I think is totally cool. We talked about how I need to build lots of muscle and strength so that I can ride to my full potential and beyond. We talked about what I wanted to do in the future and stuff like that, and I got really frustraited. My mom was saying like “I don’t think you know what it will take to get to the level you want to get to and need to get to for you to be at Wilson Collage in the equstrian program when you have 50 Judys and you are like woah and get your heart broken.”

Well, I am going to prove everyone wrong. I am going to show everyone who doesn’t belive in me that I can and will get to where I want to be. I understand it will be lots of hard work.Training,riding, working at the barn,working at my job if I get one, doing chores,helping my nan,church, and praise band and choir. It is going to be hard, and there will be late nights with lots of coffee trying to cram in school work and make time for family and friends, but I will prove you all wrong. I will suceede at this.

And then there is my dad. He will give me $25 a week, which goes straight to riding lessons, he shows no interest in that. He is too caught up with Tammy, and it bugs me. I was his daughter before she was his girlfriend. He doesn’t understand that there are things that I need, and when I tell him I need them, he says, “it will come out of your allowence.” He doesn’t get that in theory, I don’t have an allowence from him, I never get to spend it. I get between $5 and $10 from my nan for helping her around the house, and that isn’t enough for me to get what I need to get, like makeup and horse stuff. Hence, why I need to get a job, but I have no clue when I will have time to work. Monday,Tuesday,Thursday, and Friday afternoons. Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will work in the morning at the farm, then go do school work. Those days will be very tight when I get a job. But, I need the money. I need it to start saving for when I get a car, for insurrence and gas, because God knows that my dad won’t pay for that.

Gah, but I will show him. I will show him that I don’t need him to be there. I will show him that I can be successfull without him, that I can grow up and move on without him. I just would like him to show an interest, not necesarally always be there, but to ask “how was your lesson?” or “how was work?” not just “do your schoolwork” or “look at this place it is a/an*insert swear word here* stie” which he will say after I bust my patooty trying to clean up after him and my brother when he is here. It just makes my selfconfidence go from =D to =’C.

Bleh, but you know what? I can do this without him. I have my mom and James to help me, and my grandparents and my friends. I can do this without him. Let him be with Tammy all the time and live his life on the school zone going 15 while I am in the left lane going 80 towards achieving my goals and making my dreams realities. All I need is for him to pay my phone bill and give me my $25 for picking up after him.  I can so do this, I will do this. I will prove everyone wrong.

I WILL SUCCEED.

I am going to go get something to drink then go to bed.

Loves and God bless,

K-tizzleX3

Ok,so today started out icky.

My nan called me and woke me up, and then I went to take a shower and I got a horrible pain in my tummy.It hurt so bad I almost threw up. I took tylonol and laid down, the next thing I knew, my nan was here and I wasn’t dressed. I went downstairs and then went back up stairs and got dressed, then we went to Micheals. She bought me a really nice set of drawing pencils and charcol. We then went to the card shop and looked/listened to the musical cards. They are so cool. They have wicked sick songs on them, like Sweet Home Alabama, The I love Lucy theme song, and Napoleon Dynamite. I want one, so hint hint to you people who love me, get me one of them, just because you love me.

So after that, we went back to Nan’s house, and we cleaned. I dusted and vacummed the whole upstairs to earn the $10 for the pencils. BTW…They were $16.99, but since I am Katie, I had a coupon for 40% off, so I got them for $10.

When we were done cleaning, we made dinner and played rummy.

Now, I am home, listening to Evanescence’s Call Me When You’re Sober, hence where I got the lyrics for the title of this post.

I am going to go read Romeo and Juliet for English, and possibly finish that class tonight, then I will be done with my 9th grade classes, and  I will be able to start this year. I finished geometry last night, and all I am saying is I didn’t fail. A very D isn’t failing thank you very much.

The song now…Five for Fighting’s 100 Years. When this is over, I am going to put it on Janis Joplin, yes, I am going to listen to Janis Joplin, got a problem with that? Huh? Do ya? Ok good.

Well I am going to go now and finish English((hopefully))

Loves and God bless,

K-tizzleX3

So yea…

I started to update, then Tammy got here, we left, came back and cooked dinner. So now just waiting for Dad and Kevin to get here.

Dad is home. Going to eat.Finish later.

*editing 5 days later*

Wow I totally forgot about this post. I got on to make a new one, but I need to finish this one.

So Friday, Tammy came over and we celebrated her b-day with the decidant cake I made her.

Saturday, we went to the Apple Harvest Fesitval. We picked Lindsay up. Lindsay and I peted a baby cow.=D

After, Dad and Tammy dropped us off at Lindsay’s house, we helped her parents “winterize the house” then we went down to the barn and brought the horses in.

Later, we ate, then went to Lindsay’s grandparents’ house. Aww, her little cousins are so cute.

Then, when we got back to her house, we made a skit on The Holy Spirt for Shining Stars. ((That is the Sunday school class for the special needs kids.))They loved it, and it was really concrete for them. It was hard to come up with an idea for teaching the Holy Spirt, because it is hard to teach not only to you and I, but probably 10x’s harder to teach to the special needs children.But, we pulled it off.

There was a banquet type thing after worship, which was great and the pastor, who was raised Amish, gave a sermon on forgivness. Which was really good. When we were told to turn to the scripture, I found that Harlan had defaced my Bible by putting oil paint on many pages, but I cleaned it as best I could, and didn’t let it get too me too bad.

I am proud of myself for not going nuts over this, and I am proud of myself for turning my life around. I am getting more involved with church, and helping others before myself. Everyone is proud of me too, especially my Nan, and I know my Nana is proud too. I am sure she is looking down at me from Heaven and smiling, seeing that what I was doing before was wrong, and turning my life around.  I feel a sense of relief and a huge weight lifted off my chest. I am going to try my best to keep my life on track.

I must go for now, I need to get up early and help my Nan.

Loves and God bless,

K-tizzleX3